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I Need Your Help...

TearEmUp

Mixologist!
Freestyle.FM Dee Jays
#1
I've been invited to do a "Celebrity Roast" of a couple local morning show hosts. I would welcome any good roast type jokes. My time at the dais is five minutes....so feel free to post your most rotten, nasty, jokes. The meaner the better....Have at it everyone!
 
#2
Man, I wish I knew some. I never been to a celebrity roast. Maybe you should take a look at the ones that were shown on Comedy Central. That can help ya out a bit!! Hope you have a great time though!!!:)
 

freestylegreek

DOFCH.COM
DOFCH.COM
#3
Maybe its too late but you could do whatever ever else has done to radio djs and say "You got a face for radio"
 
#4
During a flight from Washington to Brazil the captain of the plane comes on the speaker and announces that they are experiencing some technical difficulty and have to make an emergency landing and ask for everyone to get ready to crash.

A woman in the front row starts putting all of her make up on and a man further away asks what she's doing. so the woman replies that the first thing they look for in a crash is the most beautiful women.

An elderly woman further back starts putting all of her jewelery on and the man asks her what she's doing. so the elderly woman replies that the first woman is wrong and that they look for riches first.

And out in the mid range of the seats a black woman stands up and starts stripping down completely. The man asks her what the hell does she think she's doing. So the woman replies that everyone is wrong, the first thing they look for after a plane crash is the black box.




_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

3 guys walking down a fence notice a sign saying that its a magical fence, if they were to jump over and yell out a wish it would come through.

So they all decide they'll try it, 1st guy starts thinking of a wish and takes a running start, jumps and yells "I want an exotic car with a babe." He lands in a ferrari with a hot blonde in the passenger seat.

2nd and 3rd guy are blown away by the guy's dream that came through so the 2nd guy decides to give it a try. so he starts running and takes his leap, yells out "I want to be a billionaire." So he lands in piles of money.

3rd guy tried to think of a better wish then the other 2 and when he gets it he takes his running start, takes his leap but didn't jump high enough so he gets his pants caught in the fence and yells out "AAH SHIT!" And of course he lands in a pile of shit.
 
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DaUnknownAdmin

Captain Casual
Staff member
Administrator
Freestyle.FM Dee Jays
#6
Tear, trust me. I'm a huge fan of celebrity roasts. There's no one and I mean no one that can beat Jeffrey Ross. Go to YouTube and put his name in the search box. You're get tons of material that never gets old.

Enjoy!

:cool:
 

TearEmUp

Mixologist!
Freestyle.FM Dee Jays
#7
Tear, trust me. I'm a huge fan of celebrity roasts. There's no one and I mean no one that can beat Jeffrey Ross. Go to YouTube and put his name in the search box. You're get tons of material that never gets old.

Enjoy!

:cool:
Will do, thanks for the heads up Raf....
 
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